We all face disappointment in our lives. Sooner or later, someone, something or our own actions will disappoint. I’m not talking about disappointment that our team lost a game, although that does bother us, I’m talking about disappointment in a person, sadness or loss, a life event, or a physical challenge that can’t be changed.
So, disappointment in a person. I’ve faced it. I remember a friend of my girls. She lived with us for a while as a teen when her mother moved to a nearby city. She fit right in with my four daughters and was a delight to have as a house guest. Although I loved her like my own, I had a few quiet moments to give her my motherly wisdom and offered that she would think about going home to her mother, my theme was that “she is her mother,” like no other. I didn’t want her to regret her decision to stay with us.
Time went on and she reconciled with her mom and did go home. Then she disappeared from our lives, disappointment number one. She later reappeared for a quick visit with a baby boy, who we never knew the father. But as time went on, she seemed to be on track for a normal life, with a new husband and two children by him.
Disappointment reared its ugly head when we heard she was taking drugs, losing her family and then, sadly, her life. Her decisions, however they came about, seemed to lead to a horrible end. One bright spot, she was a Christian and her children have grown up successful and happy despite their tragic loss.
This story is just one way disappointment can come into our life, and depending on your involvement in the situation, this could lead to disillusionment and despair.
People disappoint, that wife (or husband) that has an affair, the husband that dies unexpectedly (yes, there is disappointment there.) Or the child that goes astray. Even the church can disappoint and you can feel that you are all alone. There is also personal suffering when you have been physically injured or are being treated for a disease. A miscarriage or a sick child. Sadness, loss, disappointment prevails.
So, what do we do? I have found that it’s always good to write down your feelings, even journal the events and be able to verbalize your pain. If you are not fond of writing, you could call a good friend or your pastor and talk about how you are feeling, the process is usually ongoing, no fast fix, no end in sight. With me, I was always pretty private about things that came into my life. I mostly had conversations with God. On that note, get in the Word, claim God’s promises. Stay in church, after your mourning period, stay in the company of others as you can.
Once when I had a personal disappointment, going through it, I wrote down all the events and my feelings, and when I was “ready” and God had moved all the events to a good conclusion, I read my story to my Sunday School class. People were wondering what we talked about because everyone came out of the class crying. That said, God got the glory for the outcome.
As I relay these happenings, it may be obvious the there was a huge amount of time involved. Sometimes months, sometime years. During these times, especially in the latter event, I felt away from God as I was going through it. I had to make myself trust that the matter was in His hands. I had to pray and even “get mad” at God for letting this happen to me. But keeping the communication with Our Heavenly Father is paramount, even if you are mad at Him.
People disappoint and sometimes we disappoint ourselves. Maybe we have succumbed to temptation (again) and feel like we are hopeless. Gods got this. We are human and frail, but He is strong and mighty.
My husband and I attended a banquet for a recovery center (drugs and alcohol) featuring testimony after testimony of God’s grace and mercy in saving and restoring souls. These people had disappointed others and themselves in their sin. Glory to God that He sent His Son, Jesus, to give us victory over these things.
As I said earlier, sometimes events, physical illness, mental anguish, pain of any kind, can lead to disillusionment and despair, if not intervened. There is a point where you may need professional counselling or medical help. I caution you to seek Christian counselling or go to a doctor.
How do you “get over” disappointment? You don’t, you “get through” it, and given time and much prayer and trust in a loving God, you forgive, you heal, and you begin to live again.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3: 5-6 (KJV)
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us… Ephesians 3: 20