Nursing my babies in the night gave pause to many a talk fest, song fest, etc., and I’m sure somewhere in there I got some mom points for talking to my children. One of my sons had to be waked up to go to the bathroom every night for many years, like five, that’s a story for another time, but in those quiet half-awake moments, I would tell him what a great man he would become as he grew up. I would note different vocations, even, president! Of course, my plan worked (except the president part) and he has become a great man! However, my other son (and my daughters) turned out pretty great in their own ways, perhaps, I had more chats with them than I remember.

Talking to your children and now for some, your grandchildren, is the most important part of your legacy. Will there always be time for a long, intense conversation, well, no, but you can be intentional and aware of “teachable moments’ with your family every time you have that smallest bit of contact with them.

I want to be your “talking” coach today. When my youngest was a Senior in High School, I got my first “full-time” out of the house job, as if mom to six children born in six years, is not a full-time job, but I digress. Anyway, through my career, eventually I became a corporate trainer.

I was influenced and trained (train the trainer) by many bright, smart and creative people, but one that stands out is Tedd. Yes, Tedd the Trainer. He made up inventive training techniques and one of them really changed my whole perspective on questioning someone, anyone, customer, spouse, child, A-N-Y-O-N-E, it’s the TED questioning technique.

I’ll take it a letter at a time:

Johnny comes home from school. You, “What did you do at school today, Johnny?” Johnny, “Nothing.” Apply the T, “Johnny, Tell me about some of the things you did in Science (math, English, etc.) today?” (This takes a little practice but usually Johnny will answer with more than a yes, no or “nothing.”

Karie had a big presentation today, apply the E, “Karie, Explain some of the details of your talk today.”

Josh went to a meeting with some people you don’t know, apply the D, “Hey Josh, Describe some of the folks you met today at your meeting.”

Intentional, real, and always looking for that “teachable moment.” That is my tip for you today when you are talking to your child. It is my understanding that parents interact with their children an average of eight minutes a day. That’s pretty sad. Try having family dinner around the table, no TV or cell phones, at least a few nights a week. I heard about a lawyer who moved his family dinner time to nine o’clock so they could eat together after his workday. Not great, but it must have worked for him.

And as always, keep God in the conversation! Never miss a chance to let them know that they are a gift from God. Speak blessings over your children, speak love, speak positivity.

I wish you the best time, “talking to your children!”

Patti McDonald